So I
figured I should resurrect the old blog for a quick update on my life. I have
back in the States for about 4 months now and God has been working in my heart
just as much as He was while I was in Africa. When I got back in July I felt
very out of shape running-wise and that seemed to continue throughout the whole
summer. Through August and September I slowly got back to into shape and was
even able to run a decent race in the TC 10 mile on October 7th. I
was finally getting excited about running again and was starting to think that
I had finally found a good balance of running in my life. But then on October
17th, only a few days before the Mankato Half Marathon, I was running on the treadmill when I fell down in pain. I could barely walk the rest of the day and ended up going
to the doctor finding out that I have a stress fracture in my fourth metatarsal.
I would love to tell you that I have been extremely positive during this time
because I have so much faith that God will work this together for good, but to
be honest, I can’t. There have been times of positivity; times where I have had
complete confidence in God’s love and His perfect plan. These times usually
occur when I am in the Word, in prayer, or even just thinking about things of
God throughout the day. But I have found that whenever I take my eyes off God,
even if it’s just for a moment, my flesh takes over and steers me off into
feelings of self-pity, anger, and discouragement. I feel embarrassed to admit
that this injury has been hard on me, especially considering there are so many
people with much worse problems than a foot injury. But the reality is, it has
been a struggle and God has really used this to show me a lot of heart issues I
have that He still needs to work on.
I’ve had a lot of extra time on my hands thanks to this injury, so I have been trying
to be very intentional about spending it with the Lord instead of getting lost
in ESPN, Facebook, or Youtube. Throughout this time, God has been revealing a
lot of things to me, but He has mainly focused on two areas. The first is that
God must increase in my life and I must decrease (John 3:30). If I’m being
honest, there are many times I do stuff with the motivation that Dan Greeno
will be glorified alongside God being glorified. The Lord has really been showing me that as much
as I think it’s about me, it really isn’t. This has been a very humbling,
difficult thing to go through, and I have so much farther to grow in this area
that it’s not even funny. Secondly, God has been showing me just how much I
love the world. In 1 John chapter 2 it talks about how we should not love the
things of this world, because if we do, the love of God is not in us. This
passage has given me fits the last couple weeks as I have realized how much I
can idolize the good things in life that God has given me (friends, food,
running, sports, entertainment) over God himself.
I have
just been so thankful for the amazing people that God has put into my life to
help me get through my daily struggles. I’m sure some of my friends are sick of
talking to me with all of the negativity I’ve been struggling with, but
God seems to be giving them the enough grace to love me unconditionally. It has been a
battle every single day for me to put my hope in God rather than the things of this world,
but God has been giving me the grace to get through it. I am so glad that I can cling to God’s promises knowing that He will meet
all of my needs (Philippians 4:19), and that I will not miss out on any good
thing when I live for the Lord (Psalm 84:11).
On a lighter note, with the extra 2 hours a day of free time, I’ve had a lot
more time to clean my teeth. I’ve always had soft enamel which makes me susceptible
to cavities, but I just recently set the goal of trying to be cavity free for
the rest of my life. Since my injury, I haven’t missed a day of fluoride or
flossing, and I’ve brushed twice every day. So I’m pretty pumped for my next
dentist’s appointment! Also, my hair is currently at 10 months of growth. Although I'd love to make it a year, it's getting pretty annoying so I might have to cut it soon. I've found that you definitely can't get away with not showering in the morning like you can with short hair.
